August 2011

“Cary – such a lovely souvenir in my life. Unlike some people might think, he was really a very reserved, very sensitive, very quiet person, very philosophical, rather mystic in some ways. And had enormous empathy for other people. He had me down flat the minute he met me.”
- Audrey Hepburn

Back in April I wrote about some of my personal inspirations and Vahni made an astute observation (she does that a lot): they were all ladies. Quite so, there were a lot of dresses and there was overall a notable sense of refinement in the women I cited. Coincidentally, I didn’t include one of my greatest style icons, who just so happens to be a man, and who is perhaps the definition of refinement. Not just a man, but a gentleman; and not just a gentleman, but the gentleman: Cary Grant. Considering that today he’s being honored by Turner Classic Movies as part of their annual Summer Under the Stars I thought it was an appropriate time to pay a little tribute to the many ways Cary inspires both my life and style. When I think of Cary I think of impeccable style, quiet charm and a little air of mystery. His image is alike to a smokey jazz song: comfortable, calm, self-confident and immaculately executed.

He was dapper, he was polished, he was sophisticated…and he was a little bit fictional. Archie Leach (if you don’t know, that was Cary’s given name) created the façade that became iconic and in creating it he became it. At least, that’s how he told the story. But I think what Cary didn’t realize was that he had that special something, the social graces and debonair charm that was the root of the iconic image. Those qualities translated through his personal style, through the sharp elegance of his suits and the gentle precision that went into every detail. He was a quality gentleman and the Cary Grant he conjured up was born of his own genuine refinement. I think that’s a perfect example of how we can set standards for ourselves – of both a personal and fashionable nature – and create an ideal of ourselves to grow into without conforming to the opinions of others. We just have to look inwardly, at our strengths and shortcomings, and find the version of ourselves that we relate to most intimately.

As an actor I’ve always thought him marvelous; he made me laugh outright in films like The Philadelphia Story and The Awful Truth, and his performance in Penny Serenade actually moved me to tears. As if that’s not enough, he was the quintessential Hitchcock leading man, at once the romantic hero and the shifty source of intrigue. The quiet, all-encompassing mysteriousness of his onscreen personas throughout his twenty-year, four-film collaboration with Hitchcock is timeless and I think it was with those films that the imagined Cary Grant came into full being. There was a worldly way about that Cary Grant and just enough distance between himself and the rest of the world to make everyone curious.

I’m sure people would say that’s what has launched Cary into his immortal place as an icon, the intangible essence of what made him what he was. But something else that fascinates me about Cary Grant is the way he was simultaneously elusive and friendly. I’ll always remember reading about Audrey Hepburn’s first meeting with him at a restaurant before filming for Charade began, their first and only film together. Audrey was nervous and told him so. He responded, “Don’t be…I’m thrilled to know you. Here, sit down…Put your hands on the table, palms up, put your head down and take a few deep breaths.” When Audrey put her head down she spilled a bottle of wine all over Cary’s cream suit. She was mortified, of course, and Audrey later recalled that he “nonchalantly removed his jacket and pretended, very convincingly, that the stain would simply go away.” The next day he sent her caviar and a note telling her not to feel bad, as she had apologized profusely since the incident. She also said that Cary gave her a simple piece of advice during their time together, and by sharing it with her I think he was sharing it with the world: she said, “He laid his hand on my two hands and said, ‘You’ve got to learn to like yourself a little more.’ I’ve often thought about that.”

You can catch Cary’s films all day today on Turner Classic Movies. Perhaps it’s the perfect time to acquaint yourself with him if this post intrigued you!

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